My Doctor didn’t believe my pain. Living life as a victim.| SKY CHRISTINA

Exactly what I have been going through since I had surgery in 2015.
( I was diagnosed with cervical cancer in October 2014, I had surgery in 2015 and was left with lots of complications such as endometriosis – i never even had period pain before so this was a shock to the system and i cannot feel the side of my right thigh, which i was told was temporary due to anaesthesia, and chronic pain ETC. I would go into more details but I do not believe I am ready to share that right now so I am going to keep this post short. )
Every time I go to see the doctor they pass me along or say
“have you seen a psychologist – I think its all in your head”
or
“you will have to learn to live with this now and accept that you might be in pain for your whole life and you should come to terms with that…there is nothing we can do”. 😐
They have no idea what is wrong with me, so I also have no idea whats wrong with me. you’d think if someone is struggling to walk, sleep or even sit up you would do more to help them.
Now I’m so against going to the doctor, I was so done with waiting around for others to fix/help me.
I spend my days strengthening myself and getting used to the pain and I have been researching, self educating and developing myself to be the healthiest I can be in hopes to relieve my pain.
Its almost been 4 years, and only now through helping myself – do I see that I can be in agonising pain and still live my life.
My message to you,
Do your best not to live your life as the victim forever,
( I know how hard it can be when its difficult to even physically move )
Take your time to recover as much as you can and eventually pick yourself up.
Turn that problem into a stepping stone,
That you can lay down to solidify a path to a stronger you.
Love and light x
Christina Sky

Back to modelling? |SKY CHRISTINA

 

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I have most definitely been away from the modelling game for quite a few years now, and somehow I met up with an up and coming photographer ( @FACESPLACELACES ) and was able to just get right back into it.

 

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From the ages of 16 -19 years old I modelled part time, and loved it.

My dream was to be a high fashion model in big magazines, modelling for designer brands or modelling for artists across the world to deliver an incredible message.

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The jobs I worked were nothing big, even though I met a lot of big time celebrities at the time, but as I creeped closer to my 19th birthday I realised that in this day and age, I was never going to be a high fashion model.

I am 5″5 , with boobs and curves. At the time I could fit into size 8 clothes, but I was a size 10 – nowhere near what I needed to be to be a high fashion model. ( Haha I am a lot bigger than that now ) I needed to at least be 3-4 inches taller, I was getting bored of being casted for party scenes in high heels and revealing dresses, and t shirt companies that disappeared after the first shoot. So I decided that maybe it was time to end this career and I did.

Don’t get me wrong, I was offered big paying modelling jobs of up to 10-20k… but it would require me to have my breasts out. Glamour modelling… because of my body type.

 

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I look back and I realise that things have changed so much over the years since social media has come and now there is plus size modelling..( not that I am big enough to even do plus size modelling ) Girls with curves are jumping into the high fashion scene and the modelling industry is becoming more open, more real. Also photographers are more open minded about the models they add in their art.

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So last week I jumped up in my bed, popped my laptop open and thought, I need to just get out there and take some pictures. I applied for some castings and many photographers got back to me. I still got the odd few asking for nudity but I got tons more who were open and respected my boundaries.

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That is where these photos came along.

The moment I met @FACEPLACESLACES I immediately felt comfortable and jumped back into the model role, produced some incredible images and had an enjoyable time. @FACESPLACESLACES is an amazing photographer , as you can see, and you should definitely give him a follow and check out his other work on instagram or his website.

I definitely had quite a few insecurities/fears holding me back and I am glad I just did it, instead of telling myself I’m not good enough. It does help that times have changed and the industry is more accepting of more natural looking girls and guys, as it helped give me a boost of confidence ( I feel like I have a chance now to do something I love without feeling pressured to drop my standards ) I have also now booked other shoots and am looking forward to doing more in future with some incredible artists.

So my message to you is, when you feel the time is right, make sure you adjust yourself mentally and just take the dive ( or take small steps towards your goal – which ever way you feel you can handle …but do not just stand still because no one will pick you up and carry you to your goal )

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Love and light x

Christina Sky

 

( More pictures from this shoot coming soon – follow my instagram @SKYCHRISTINA to see them first )

Hi… it has been a while | Stuck in my comfort zone…

Hi Beauties,

How is everyone?

doing great?

thats amazing!! ha

now that awkward part is out of the way lets talk.

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So a lot of nothing has been happening for me at this current moment and I have been sitting here for like 2 weeks staring at rubbish on the internet, watching other peoples lives and not really living my own. Relatable?

It doesn’t help that I was in pain for those 2 weeks so I was just laying in bed most of the day trying my best not to put myself in any more pain but I really feel a bit .. you know.. useless. (i’m not looking for sympathy, just sharing a lil bit of how my brain is working right now)

I plan and I plaan all of these magical productive things i’m going to do in life so I can have fun and explore and just live the dream, and about 1% of that plan actually happens and the rest just gets pushed onto the next month to do.

I feel like this has been a repeating pattern in my life. Like I hoard plans for years … and like a decade later I realise, like damn…. I planned to do this 10 years ago and I’m still pushing it forward every month as something I’m going to do….

I’ve come to know i’m not alone in doing this through listening to people, and their stories. We get so busy or caught up in things that mean basic fluff and wonder where the time has gone. Then we see someone working hard, focused and achieving things we could only dream to achieve but haven’t even come close to. We snap out of that reality and start to compare ourselves over and over and thats what makes us feel useless.

For a while I felt like I stopped this, i was active and achieving my goals and focused on myself and my life. Things happened in my life and I got thrown off quite a bit and ended up in this basic cycle of living – wake up, dress , walk duke (my Shiba inu puppy), watch youtube videos, eat food, bed…. over and over… and in a way I felt like it was a kind of coping mechanism, so I didn’t really have to think or feel any of the things that were happening in my life or just avoid feeling uncomfortable again. It kept a smile on my face, it kept me afloat…but I feel like that boat is now sinking, I’m coming back to reality and nows the time to abandon ship and move on.

When I really think about it, I wonder if I know what the solution is… and only today have I come to think that, maybe I just haven’t found the thing that gets me going and enthusiastic.

I was enthusiastic at one point… for 6 years I drew comics to make an anime ( the excitement i had after completing each page, even though barely anyone read those comics and most people who did, didn’t understand or thought i was weird -and a small percentage begged me for more but thats besides the point.. i still loved the thrill of just making it and then was super thrilled to put it out there)… worked weekends at Sainsbury’s for money for my clothing business and then 3 of those years I worked as a student nurse full time on top … I was very busy every day of the week, i barely slept. (I come to realise I was very busy because I had some unsettled mental issues and this was my escape and then I finally got through.. and now I’m through them  …i’m back in this unenthusiastic lifestyle. ..but is it because I have unsettled mental issues again? i have no idea to be honest. doesn’t feel that way)

Don’t get me wrong, I have done many new things these recent years just gone, like recovering and rehabilitating after surgery, big change of my diet…starting up exercising at the gym…started my youtube channel etc. however now i’m used to my diet, i’m getting used to gym , i’m pretty happy in comparison to before- no serious depressing issues pulling me down, and my youtube is just floating there with my inconsistent upload schedule.

(starting to think i’m just ranting here right now and not sure if this even makes any sense at all..haha oh well)

So the solution I see is to push myself out of this new comfort zone I have made for myself because i’m settling again, and whenever I settle, I get bored or feel useless.

To keep the feeling of just feeling alive, I need to keep myself in a weird space of uncomfortable. For example, take my diet to the next level that i’ve planned for; bring more quality and put more effort into my Youtube videos; do new things regularly; meet new people; take my mental awareness to the next level. I would say more examples but there is a bunch of things i want to keep secret from you all for a lil while till I get them up and running.

I feel like I have been having one of them midlife crisis things, like i’m getting old and i feel like i’ve done nothing … but that all stems from me comparing myself to others. I just keep reminding myself – this is my journey, my path. My path is nothing like anyone else’s so comparing mine to others is futile and a waste of time.  haha and me sharing it here, i guess, is just to show you my experiences so you can get inspired or know maybe what not to do haha. ( Or its an unconscious cry for help – i honestly don’t know )

So heres to me pushing my own buttons and falling out of this comfy bubble for the rest of 2018 ..

wish me luck peeps

x love and light x

(i want to share more here – personal stuff as well as recipes and health and fitness stuff so call me out if i haven’t posted in a while)

HAPPY CHINESE LUNA NEW YEAR! -Year of the Dog EXPERIENCE

Happy new year to you all!

I took a trip down to ChinaTown for the Chinese luna new year festival for the first time ever ( well that i remember).

It was Red, it was loud, it was fun, it was beautiful and it was crowded.

 

The day started off with me and my sister rushing down to central London, because we were late to see the floats and dancing dragons. The moment we stepped out of the train station, we were met with wall of people also there for Chinese new year celebrations.

The crowds made it difficult to see much of anything but the beautiful decorations above made up for that.

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The hunger got the better of us while we were swimming through the crowds, so I decided to check Happy Cow app and found an amazing restaurant that is not only Raw Vegan but also refined Sugar-free!

[ I was looking for a Vegan Chinese restaurant to keep up the vibe but the only one I found was in Dalston 😥 – will probably check that out on another day ]

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It’s called Vantra Loungevity London

If you are interested in vegan food, definitely go check it out – it is right near M&M world and ChinaTown.

The atmosphere was amazing! Very family friendly. Everyone seemed happy and ready to party and they left the floats out at the end for us to enjoy.

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Being the Year of the Dog, a lot of people brought their dogs to the event and I was planning to bring Duke, however I am glad I did not – Duke might have been trampled. Also I spotted another Shiba there and everyone was stopping this dog and grabbing him – I felt sorry for the shiba.

After a while my sister and I decided to go see the light show at 5.30pm, i thought maybe I could at least film this section and make a video out of the day … we found an amazing position, with full view of it all (so happy) and waited around 30-40 mins there to see the show only to have a tall security guard and people push in front and block our view. If you are short and you haven’t found a good place to stand – I do not recommend waiting for the light show, because you will not see it. ( not to be a Debbie downer haha but it is the truth )

I am so happy I decided to go regardless of how I may have made the experience sound because it was fun, and i’m glad my sister came with me, she was good company. – I would post the picture I took of her here but not sure if she’d want me to 😛

So you can have a picture of me instead :

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The plan was to film the event but it was a bit much to enjoy and film so I just enjoyed.

I definitely recommend getting there in the morning, when they start , as many sections get closed off because of over crowding.

Best part of the day : Raw vegan food, decorations, and atmosphere.

 

Christina Sky

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Hello and Welcome!

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If this is our first time crossing paths then I am so happy to have become a part of your life,

Hi , My name is Christina Sky.

I am a self made freelance artist, YouTuber, and Vegan Lifestyle blogger from London, working hard to inspire myself, those around me and those who watch me to live a balanced, healthier, happier life.

 

Follow me if you are interested in knowing more about the following topics through my eyes:

  • Veganism + Whole foods plant based diet + Sugar-free living
  • Mental and physical health +fitness
  • Art Activism/awareness (about all the topics above)
  • Adventure + Nature
  • Love
  • Art
  • Me and my journey
  • +more

 

Love and Light

Christina Sky

x

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